jangan jadi seperti nyamuk yang kubenci
yang kehadirannya selalu menggangguku
selalu mengusikku
dan membuatku marah
jangan jadi seperti nyamuk yang kubenci
yang selalu membuatku terjaga dan tidak bisa tidur
selalu membuatku gerah dan ingin pergi
dan jangan jadi seperti nyamuk yang kubenci
yang walaupun sudah kurelakan apa yang dia mau, darahku
ia tetap tidak tau diri
5 September 2012
dia membuka pintu hati, suara decit tak terelakan. kosong, seketika kehampaan menyergapnya.
goodboy for goodgirl. ya namanya jodoh dek, ga ada yg tau. ucap kakak dan ibunya di waktu yg berbeda.
6 September 2012
kata banyak org, jaman sekarang kl ga bisa nyakitin ya disakitin. tapi jangankan nyakitin, ngeliat org disakitin aja dia ga bisa.
nyari cowok yang belum pernah ngerokok itu sama susahnya sama nyari cowok yang belum pernah nyakitin cewek.
7 September 2012
hidup itu adil. banyak yang sayang, banyak juga yang nyakitin.
9 September 2012
the world is too busy to care you.
you (always) do something, doesn't mean you like it.
10 September 2012
kita ga bisa ngulang sesuatu yang udah lewat, jadi relakan saja.
11 September 2012
sadarilah, ada orang yang ga bisa menolak dan kacau dalam membuat keputusan.
tak sanggup mengungkapkan kemarahannya, dia hanya menggigit bibir.
12 September 2012
everyone wish that they have a normal life, even every life that they think abnormal is actually normal. so how is normal life that everyone wish?
14 September 2012
makin lama aku merasa hidup ini makin semu. makin sulit meyakini bahwa segala yang terjadi ini nyata.
"apa yang kamu mau?" menjadi pertanyaan yang sulit dijawab saat kamu tak mau apapun (lagi).
dear the one who should be owner of my heart,
I dont know where you are. However I still believe that on that someday you'll come to me. But before that, let me tell you. Sorry if my heart doesn't choose you for the first cause before you, there had been some hearts entering my heart. but all of them were just bulshit.
I used to be too stupid about them. So please, on the right someday you must come into my heart soon cause I dont wanna others fool me again and again.
I really miss you even I've not known yet who you are.
Recently my life rotate too fast, enough to makes me tired.
And this afternoon I got the time to have a chat with my friends. I told them what happened and what I feel. One of them made me realizing that may be, yesterdays I did wrong.
Till now I'm still feeling so sad. I wanna cry but I can't.
Sorry if because of what he did to me, I did you wrong.
Sorry if yesterdays I lost my control till dragging you here, even I shouldn't do this.
Sorry that yesterdays I forgot that not everybody knows and understands me, then be able to catch my only good intention.
Sorry if now I become someone bad.
So please stop keeping doing this to me, keeping treating me well cause I'm not worth for it.
If you keep doing it, it means you just hurt me by your goodness. Cause I can't return it to you, cause my heart doesn't choose you, cause somebody took it.
So please stop!
Tonight I don't know why I feel really really missing to write here in english. Feeling the sensation when every word comes from my mind but sometimes need to wait a little longer before finally being here cause I get a difficulty to choose the best diction.
And I remember with a quote from Perahu Kertas film "pelukis yang baik bahkan bisa melukis kekosongan sekalipun". It means so deep but yeah it's so true.
Actually an author is similiar to an artist. Just like, we wanna go the same place but by different way and transportation. Then it a little disturbs me, tonight I really really want to write but... I've no idea! Should I give up by writing nothing? Oh no, I dont think so.
I know just like a painter that can even draw an emptyness, I also can write and tell others about the silence that I'm feeling. Silence is when we dont hear anything but it doesn't mean there's no story in it. You can tell the story of the silence by writing, absolutely you also still dont make a noise that can break the silence.
Oftenly, It's not about cause we have nothing but about cause we think we have nothing. Always remember that even nothing is something!
biasanya kita akhirnya bisa percaya dan mengerti sesuatu setelah kita melewati atau mengalami sesuatu. dulu saat kita masih polos, lagu-lagu cinta ga pernah sampe memenjarakan kita bedua aja dengan pikiran kita. mungkin ada sebagian dari kita yang dulu dengan naif ga percaya sensasi jatuh cinta sampai patah hati sampai akhirnya kita ngalamin itu sendiri dan merasa malu karena menjadi mereka yang dulu sering kita tertawai karena kita anggap lebay atau semacamnya, cuma karena saat itu kita ga ngerti dan belum ngalamin. That's why apapun bentuk dan kondisi orang yang kita temuin, kita ga seharusnya memandang remeh dan menertawakan mereka. karena mungkin besok kita yang mengalami itu.
contoh lain, dulu sehebat apapun saya ngebayangin bagaimana rasanya menjadi mahasiswa, imajinasi saya tetap ga pernah sesempurna realita saat ini. rasa kangen sebagai anak SMA, rasa kangen dikenali dan diperlakukan secara special atas seragam yang kita pakai dan rasa kangen atas persahabatan tanpa syarat serta hal remeh-temeh lain yang dulu kita ga pernah sangka akan kita kangenin. semua kangen itu terlalu jauh untuk dicapai dengan cuma imajinasi anak SMA, kita perlu menjadi dan mengalaminya sendiri untuk mengerti.
Intinya tiap momen di hidup kita jadi berharga karena kita alami dan lewati :')
